So I am someone who has been blessed with awesome friends. And when I say awesome I mean crazy insane wonderful people who speak truth into my life. I am beyond lucky to have them. In this phase of my life that translates into being a bridesmaid in weddings. Lots of them. I have legitimately been in over a dozen weddings nearing the 20 mark here soon. I threw in a few pictures of some I had been in more recently. I adore weddings and seeing my friends so happy and in love brings me massive amounts of joy. From helping the bride pick out her dress, to decorating table placements, to schlepping chairs out of the rainy location that you set up the night before, I’ve done it all. I enjoy it all and its done out of love. There is ONE big part of being in weddings that I absolutely hate….
…and I mean absolutely hate is, bridesmaid dress shopping.
Bridesmaid dress shopping is my least favorite part for several reasons. One, there always seems to be one girl in the party that “doesn’t care” but backseat drives when it comes to making the choice with all her different opinions. That or she throws a fit or doesn’t listen. I am of the belief that so long as things are covered length wise and hopefully there is a strap (I am flexible on this but I have a large bust) that you wear whatever makes the bride happy. Two- I am “disproportionate” according to bridal salons everywhere. Usually my bust measures 3-6 dress sizes larger than my waist. Three, having to predict what dress size I will be in 6+ months is a terrible game. Especially considering my weight has not been consistent high OR low for more than 2 months over the last 6 years. No I’m not joking, but the fact that they make you order so far in advance is trash. #DavidsBridalLies Four, I am actively trying to lose weight now so predicting that dress size is even harder. Five, everything and I means EVERYTHING is stupidly over priced. I swear I’m taking my folks to JCPenny one day and we will do it that way. Six, online shopping with no inexpensive exchange policy which adds an additional layer to size guessing SUCKS. Even more so when the bride does it last minute and you have to front a grand to order 3 dresses to TRY ON is infuriating. Only do the online thing if you absolutely love it/its cheaper. PLEASE- your chubby friend is begging you. As you can see, for me the the overall experience is just exhausting and anxiety inducing.
So you’re losing weight and in a wedding. What dress size do you order?
1-Order the larger size. Let me say it again for those in the back, ORDER THE LARGER SIZE. Girl, no one sees the tag! Quite frankly, you’re the only who cares about that number. However, people WILL see back pudge or rolls sticking out off a too small dress. Do yourself a favor and make yourself comfortable! This brings me to the nest point…
2-Find yourself a bomb
– Ass seamstress. Often bridal shops can recommend local people who personally, I like working with better than massive chains anyway. You can always order the bigger size and have it taken in where you need it or a size down. Due to my “disproportionate-ness” I always have mine altered. I just plan it into the budget.
3-Whatever you do, DO NOT ORDER A SIZE TOO SMALL/DOWN. Not only do you run the risk of not fitting into the dress on time, but also you put yourself through metal and emotional challenges that are just are not worth it. You may totally be that size come the wedding and that’s awesome. Good job on reaching those goals! You can risk it but in my experience, I only recommend buying the smaller dress if you are willing and capable of doing the following:
- Buy a second dress last minute. Usually this means additional rush fees one top of the first non-returnable dress.
- The store can guarantee it is able to replicate the dress exactly come closer to the wedding. Styles often come and go as do colors.
- Finally, the store can even accommodate such requests. Often its not possible to do.
4-Remember to have fun! Its super easy to get wrapped up in how you’ll look next to your friends. Comparison is not what that day is about. Doing so will only make you feel bad and a bunch of unnecessary negative feelings. I can pretty much guarantee that your bride and your friends don’t want that for you. If so, get some new friends and leave that bride at the alter! Its about your friend getting married and that they appreciate you so much that you get to be part of their day! Its about love! Your friend loves you AS IS and gives 0 poops about your size. Embrace it. I promise choosing the joy in this situation is well worth it.