Posted in Personal Post

First Binge Since The Diet

Hey All,

So this is actually kind of a sad post. Yesterday I had my first binge since starting my diet back in January. Binge eating is something I have struggled with the majority of my adult life. Its something that had only gotten worse after dieting the first time and even worse after the second. Its hard when you have to restrict foods. Starting the whole “good food” vs. “bad food” thing.

The only good news is this wasn’t a massive binge. I topped out at 1,903 cals according to myfitnesspal. So it technically wasn’t that bad of a binge, but feeling out of control and unable to stop is unhealthy. No matter how much gets eaten. I wanted to review the damage I did. I had a handfuls of vanilla cookies, jolly ranchers, and a few chips. After I felt like junk and went to bed pretty disappointing with myself. Is it weird I’m sad it wasn’t a better binge? One that could have included pizza or T-bell? hah!

Oh well. Today is a new day and I’ll continue on with my better eating at working out. Keep going friends.



Posted in Weigh-In Wednesday

Weigh-In Wednesday- 1/30/19

Good Morning Everyone!

I am excited to announce that I lost 2.6 lbs this week. Two Point Six! YASSSSSS! I’m excited to see that my meal prepping at hard work is paying off.

EXERCISE: I was addicted to the gym this week! For whatever reason, my body really wanted to move. Maybe it just wanted to not study, haha…but ya know! So I went to the gym 5 times this week. I do love that this happens for me occasionally. Once the gym becomes habit after several months, I do begin to crave it. When I don’t go it feels weird. I’m looking forward to when that feeling happens for me consistently.

DIET: I think upping my calorie goal using myfitnesspal was the best choice I could have made for my body. Not only do I feel WAY less hungry (I don’t really ever feel hungry; just before meals) but I think its revved my metabolism. See the crazy weight loss this week despite eating more calories than I have in the past few weeks. To be clear, the majority of those calories were healthy things like vegetables, lean meats, and fruits with a small amount of cheese for dessert. Because lets be honest, cheese is amazing. So I can say my diet has been clean 90% of the time. Even if my weight loss ends up being slower, eating more is SO much better for me in the long run.


I actually ended writing too much about the change it my diet. So much so that it became an entirely separate blog post that you can read here. 

Peak Weight: 250.0 lbs

Starting Weight: 245.5 lbs

Current Weight: 241.0 lbs

Total Weight Loss: 9.0 lbs

With peace,


Posted in Personal Post

Perks To Upping Calorie Goals

Hello Everyone,

For those of you that have been following my health/fitness journey you’d know that I recently upped my calorie goals. I did this for several reasons:

  1. It will help maintain my metabolism
  2. It will support muscle growth. Not just fat loss.
  3. I will feel less hungry, especially on hard workout days.
  4. Higher calories are closer to my maintenance numbers. This means more sustainability.
  5. It supports me working on my relationship with food.

So I have lost a significant amount of weight two different times. This time will hopefully be my third and LAST time. Previously, I did things wrong both diet and exercise-wise, but this post is focused on food.

The first time I lost weight I used myfitnesspal (I still do because it make life easy and its a great app). It set me up with 1,200 calories/day because I had less weight to lose, I lived a sedentary lifestyle, and selected that I wanted to lose 2lbs/week which is aggressive. Back then, the software was new and was not as focused on adjusting to a person’s caloric needs. Knowing nothing about nutrition and health, I thought that is probably fine. All diets should make me feel hungry right? I was clearly eating too much… Wrong.


For those of you who were like me and didn’t know, 1,200 calories is hard to sustain long term. I managed to do so for about 6 months/1 year on two different occasions. I lost weight and was beyond proud about how strong my willpower was. Sadly, it also generated a really unhealthy relationship with food. I started a pattern of extreme restriction, slight restriction, binge to the point of feeling sick, followed by massive guilt, and finally once again I’d restrict even more. I’d repeat this again and again. I labeled foods as bad and would feel anxious anytime I had to eat. Fearful thoughts like what if this was the one time I couldn’t stop? What if I gained all the weight back because I ate that piece of cheese? I got to a point where I wished I really didn’t have to eat. If I was completely honest, I still feel that way sometimes. I’m working on it. I explain this feeling to folks like this…People who quit smoking can get rid of their addiction cold turkey. I have to get out my addiction 3x/day to survive. Majority of social events, networking and career related events, and even dating revolves around food. Around my addiction. So I have to learn to balance it. I have to live in harmony with my addiction.

This diet I initially selected the same settings of 2 lbs/week and sedentary lifestyle, however, being heavier it upped my calorie goal at about 1,350. (Yay myfitnesspal for accounting for caloric needs and body types!) After starting my new workout plans and going through the motions, I just felt like I was restricting and more hungry than I wished to be. More than just eating less. Especially considering I was eating healthy things that should fill people up.  I could do it, and maintain this diet, but I was feeling icky about what I was doing to my body. So I on a whim felt like I’d try upping my calories. And it turned out great! I am not eating anywhere from 1,400-1630 calories/day. I like the range because I’m trying to just eat to satiety. I don’t force myself to eat more, and most days I feel fin at about 1,500 and don’t even come close to the limit of 1,630. Likely because I am eating a TON of vegetables and fruit.

  1. I ended up losing more weight week than the weeks previous where I was eating more.
  2. I felt way less hungry. In fact, I don’t really feel hungry at all unless its prior a meal.
  3. I feel like this is closer to maintenance calories/diet so my body wont be as shocked once I make the switch. Also, I feel the transition will probably be easier.
  4. I don’t have to restrict myself a ton just to enjoy one even with friends. This is probably my most favorite change. Before, if I knew I had an event with friends I would eat the least I possibly could until the dinner at 7pm. I would feel starting. This way I can eat semi normal before these things and still do okay calorie wise.

Overall, this is an awesome change and probably the best thing I could have done for my body and health journey. Even if my weight loss is slower, this is much healthier mentally and physically and I am beyond happy about it. 

With peace,


Posted in Personal Post, Uncategorized

5 Tips For Staying SANE In College/Graduate School

Hello All,

For those of you who don’t know, I’ve done a lot of school. A whole freaking lot. So much so that my family jokes that I’m a professional student. My collegiate experience can be summed up as follows: I went to undergrad for 5 years completing a major and double minors finishing with honors. I then went directly into my research based masters degree for the next three years, also teaching and working a second full time job. I was uber busy but still managed to graduate with honors. I then took one year off to work as a scientist, and now I’m back in graduate school again for 2 more years.  For those keeping track, that is 10 years of higher education. TEN YEARS!

They say write about what you know. If a anything, the one thing  I know about is school. That being said, something  I did not know when starting school was how to take care of myself. Or how to balance school with everything else. Being an achiever type, I often took on too much extra. So through many years of trial and error, multiple break downs, and unnecessary stress I’ve learned a few things that help me balance school. So here are my tips for keeping sane.

1-Get A Planner. It can be digital, on paper, or on a white board even. Just find whatever works best for you.  I personally have a paper one with monthly and weekly sections. Not only does it free your mind of stress trying to remember all the do dates and coordinating everything, but checking things off the to do list is highly satisfying. I love looking back at how productive I am. I also record my workouts in my planner. That way everything is in one place.

2A-Get Some Exercise. Yes my cerebral friends, it is important to get exercise. If you’re anything like me, you have a love hate relationship with working out. I’d much rather curl up with a good book or Netflix, drink some wine, and eat all the unhealthy things with it. But research and individual resorts suggests that not only is exercise good for your physically and mental health, but its supports your academic goals too. Research has shown that regular cardiovascular exercise and strength training improve memory, thinking skills, and even increases the volume of your brain. You can find one of the thousands of articles here.

2B- Eat A Balanced Diet. As hard as it is to refuse the free pizza, do it. Your body needs the right fuel to function properly. It is worth taking the time to prioritize and do things like meal prep. Apps like myfitnesspal can help you track things like macros, calories, and activity. If anything it can help you just be a bit more mindful about your food choices. I’m not saying don’t go enjoy a beer with the cohort, I’m saying take care of yourself. Prioritize your health. All aspects of it.

3-Find Something To Love COMPLETELY Separate From Your Program. Its very easy to get wrapped up in a graduate program. Its important to remember that there is more to you than research/lab work/ this one interesting topic. Remember to do things that are fun for you. For me it was running and playing/making music. It helped keep me sane when experiments weren’t working, or I couldn’t find that one specific article I read once upon a time to cite. Doing this keeps you balanced, reminds you that this stressful time is not forever, and that your life is more than this singular program.

4-Get (Lots) Sleep. I had to learn this one the hard way. Being ultra busy and always taking on new projects I found myself sacrificing sleep to attain my long list of achievements. It wasn’t until my mentor during my 3rd year of grad school suggested that I reevaluate my priorities (that is the nice way of saying-you look like crap and your second full time job is killing you) that I realized I had a problem. I was living on max 4 hours a night for two years and it took a toll on my mental and physical health. Even though I dropped a second job, I still ended up dealing with chronic fatigue syndrome for about 4 months AFTER graduation. Since entering graduate school a second time, I have chosen to maintain no less than 5.5 hours of sleep, but my average is closer to 7. Even if it means I get a A- instead of an A.

This connects to my next tip well…

5- Say No. Yes, the overachieving people-pleaser just told you to say no to people. I will be the first to admit that this is easier said than done. However, I have learned that it is better to say yes to 1 thing and give it 100% than say yes to 4 things and not be present. When in graduate school your time is limited and sometimes saying no is important for taking care of yourself. You’re not being selfish, its just the way life is right now. Explaining why you can’t always hang out with family and friends helps. Also, intentionally planning hangouts when it IS convenient helps them understand too. What helps with this and maintaining a balance is having a planner. See tip # 1.

*Bonus Tip* Therapy. If you are having a hard time coping or balancing your life during school, go get help. There is 0 shame in doing so. ZERO. Also, most schools offer this to students for free, so take advantage of this resource. It can be the difference between a really negative experience in school vs. having an amazing time and making positive memories.

So thats it for now. Good luck! You got this!






Posted in Weigh-In Wednesday

Weigh-In Wednesday- 1/22/19

Hey All!

Its that same time of the week again. I am happy to report that this week I lost weight! Yay! Especially after last week’s gain I’m really happy that this week worked out. The difference between this week and last week is –2.4 lbs so we are moving in the right direction. Whoop whoop!

EXERCISE: I am still sticking to my workout of cardio 3-4x a week. I managed to get to the gym 4x this week. Added bonus 45 full minutes of treadmill work on Sunday. And lifted 3 days this week and fit in one solid day of stretching for 30 minutes.

DIET: My food has been under my established calorie goal via myfitnesspal. However, this week I think I’ve decided to make my goals a little less aggressive and up my calories. The app gives you the option to select your goal which I had at -2lbs a week which gave me about 1200cals/week with my sedentary lifestyle. That being said I think I’m altering it to 1.5lbs/week which gives me around 1400cals/week. Not only is this probably a more sustainable diet but it supports my health goals. It will better support my goal of maintaining/increasing muscle mass, but I feel it will also help transition into weight maintenance easier. Since maintenance is something I’ve struggled with in the past, I’d like to give myself the best advantage now.

Peak Weight: 250.0 lbs

Starting Weight: 245.5 lbs

Current Weight: 243.6 lbs

Total Weight Loss: 6.4 lbs

With peace,


Posted in Weigh-In Wednesday

Weigh-In Wednesday- 1/16/19


Its that time of week again. I’m a little disappointed to report that I have gone up a pound this last week. I did some reflecting and honestly I’m chalking this one up to either being dehydrated when I first weighed in or my body is just being difficult. I have 0 clue why it went up. I used my fitnesspal and was under calorie goal all week. I also worked out 4 times, which is 4x more than I’ve done in the past. Each time 5 minute warm up followed by 30 minutes of cardio (I’m doing interval running) and lifting after. Focusing on either arms, legs, back, or chest. So even though the numbers make me a bit sad, I just am going to keep doing what I’m doing. I can’t do any better, so here is to an odd week.

What do you all do to stay motivated on weeks like this?

Peak Weight: 250.0 lbs

Starting Weight: 245.5 lbs

Current Weight: 246.2 lbs

Total Weight Loss: 3.8 lbs


Posted in About me RIGHT now, Weigh-In Wednesday

Weigh-in Wednesday!- 1/9/18

Hey all,

I know its been forever since I posted but we are back at it. If you care about what I’ve been up to, I’ve written about it in a post here. Similar to past posts, I plan to have “Weigh-in Wednesdays” to help get me back on track with my fitness/dietary goals.

I have struggled with depression and binge eating the last 6 months or so. Mixed with grad school I’ve gained almost all the weight I lost previous back. =( That being said, I am now actively making the choice to not eat junk and work out at least 3x a week. This is easier said than done when you’re in PA school but just like I tell my patients, my health needs to remain a priority. So here goes my attempts at doing just that.

So quick and easy. Here are my current numbers. No matter how embarrassing they might be.

With peace,


Peak Weight: 250.0 lbs

Starting Weight: 245.5 lbs

Current Weight: 245.5 lbs

Total Weight Loss: 4.5 lbs

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