Posted in Weigh-In Wednesday

Weigh-In Wednesday-2/6/19

I stepped on the scale this morning and could not believe the number I saw. 239!!!!! I broke 140 and officially have lost 10lbs+ I was nervous because my body has been gaining and losing 1-2lbs every day this week. Yes, I weight myself everyday and understand it’ll be slow or water fluctuations, it just serves as a reminder for  me. Honestly, I was worried I was going to say I gained this week because one day I literally jumped up to 242.8lbs.  I’m so glad to finally feel like I am in control of my body and health again. I hope you all have a healthy week and have a great day.

EXERCISE: This week was harder in the gym for some reason. I didn’t have very good runs and lifting was ok. With the exception of the other day where I ran for a straight 9 minutes and then walked 5 then ran another 8 and did 2 minute intervals after. Ever when run days are hard, I still love knowing I’m improving.  When it comes to weights, I’m either getting stronger or I’m not working out hard enough. I’m just not getting sore post workout. Any thoughts or suggestions are welcomed.

DIET: With the exception of the mini binge (1900cal-should be a maintain cal #) my diet has been very clean. I don’t know why my weight isn’t moving the way it should but I’m just going to keep trying.

Peak Weight: 250.0 lbs

Starting Weight: 245.5 lbs

Current Weight: 239.0 lbs

Total Weight Loss: 11.0 lbs

With peace,


Posted in Personal Post

First Binge Since The Diet

Hey All,

So this is actually kind of a sad post. Yesterday I had my first binge since starting my diet back in January. Binge eating is something I have struggled with the majority of my adult life. Its something that had only gotten worse after dieting the first time and even worse after the second. Its hard when you have to restrict foods. Starting the whole “good food” vs. “bad food” thing.

The only good news is this wasn’t a massive binge. I topped out at 1,903 cals according to myfitnesspal. So it technically wasn’t that bad of a binge, but feeling out of control and unable to stop is unhealthy. No matter how much gets eaten. I wanted to review the damage I did. I had a handfuls of vanilla cookies, jolly ranchers, and a few chips. After I felt like junk and went to bed pretty disappointing with myself. Is it weird I’m sad it wasn’t a better binge? One that could have included pizza or T-bell? hah!

Oh well. Today is a new day and I’ll continue on with my better eating at working out. Keep going friends.



Posted in Personal Post

Life Update-Is It Summer Yet?

Hey All,

Normally my posts are centered on my weight loss journey or some random topic. This week has been just a little too hectic and I decided that I just wanted to write a personal post instead. So here is just a quick little life update.

This week has been EXHAUSTING! With the weather here in Michigan being crazy we had several snow days in our graduate program. This has caused a lot of self learning, which is fine except we are expected to do that on top of the few topics they teach us directly. Renal is so overwhelming. God bless nephrologists, but pass. I have 0 desire to manage this complicated mess. Sadly I know I’ll see renal problems with patients everywhere in my future.

We held a bone marrow donor drive via Be the Match this week. It went over very well. I’m super proud of all my classmates and a bit thankful it is over. All the coordinating e-mails became exhausting.  Here are some pictures from the drive.

I have been losing steam when it comes to focusing on my diet and exercise. I am anxious to do my 5K in the spring because my runs lately have felt super difficult. Don’t know why, but my body just isn’t being compliant. Also, have been lifting a little bit. I’m excited to meet with a personal trainer this coming Wednesday to work on lifting a bit more.

That is all for now. Off to hit the books!

With Peace,


Posted in Weigh-In Wednesday

Weigh-In Wednesday- 1/30/19

Good Morning Everyone!

I am excited to announce that I lost 2.6 lbs this week. Two Point Six! YASSSSSS! I’m excited to see that my meal prepping at hard work is paying off.

EXERCISE: I was addicted to the gym this week! For whatever reason, my body really wanted to move. Maybe it just wanted to not study, haha…but ya know! So I went to the gym 5 times this week. I do love that this happens for me occasionally. Once the gym becomes habit after several months, I do begin to crave it. When I don’t go it feels weird. I’m looking forward to when that feeling happens for me consistently.

DIET: I think upping my calorie goal using myfitnesspal was the best choice I could have made for my body. Not only do I feel WAY less hungry (I don’t really ever feel hungry; just before meals) but I think its revved my metabolism. See the crazy weight loss this week despite eating more calories than I have in the past few weeks. To be clear, the majority of those calories were healthy things like vegetables, lean meats, and fruits with a small amount of cheese for dessert. Because lets be honest, cheese is amazing. So I can say my diet has been clean 90% of the time. Even if my weight loss ends up being slower, eating more is SO much better for me in the long run.


I actually ended writing too much about the change it my diet. So much so that it became an entirely separate blog post that you can read here. 

Peak Weight: 250.0 lbs

Starting Weight: 245.5 lbs

Current Weight: 241.0 lbs

Total Weight Loss: 9.0 lbs

With peace,


Posted in Personal Post

Perks To Upping Calorie Goals

Hello Everyone,

For those of you that have been following my health/fitness journey you’d know that I recently upped my calorie goals. I did this for several reasons:

  1. It will help maintain my metabolism
  2. It will support muscle growth. Not just fat loss.
  3. I will feel less hungry, especially on hard workout days.
  4. Higher calories are closer to my maintenance numbers. This means more sustainability.
  5. It supports me working on my relationship with food.

So I have lost a significant amount of weight two different times. This time will hopefully be my third and LAST time. Previously, I did things wrong both diet and exercise-wise, but this post is focused on food.

The first time I lost weight I used myfitnesspal (I still do because it make life easy and its a great app). It set me up with 1,200 calories/day because I had less weight to lose, I lived a sedentary lifestyle, and selected that I wanted to lose 2lbs/week which is aggressive. Back then, the software was new and was not as focused on adjusting to a person’s caloric needs. Knowing nothing about nutrition and health, I thought that is probably fine. All diets should make me feel hungry right? I was clearly eating too much… Wrong.


For those of you who were like me and didn’t know, 1,200 calories is hard to sustain long term. I managed to do so for about 6 months/1 year on two different occasions. I lost weight and was beyond proud about how strong my willpower was. Sadly, it also generated a really unhealthy relationship with food. I started a pattern of extreme restriction, slight restriction, binge to the point of feeling sick, followed by massive guilt, and finally once again I’d restrict even more. I’d repeat this again and again. I labeled foods as bad and would feel anxious anytime I had to eat. Fearful thoughts like what if this was the one time I couldn’t stop? What if I gained all the weight back because I ate that piece of cheese? I got to a point where I wished I really didn’t have to eat. If I was completely honest, I still feel that way sometimes. I’m working on it. I explain this feeling to folks like this…People who quit smoking can get rid of their addiction cold turkey. I have to get out my addiction 3x/day to survive. Majority of social events, networking and career related events, and even dating revolves around food. Around my addiction. So I have to learn to balance it. I have to live in harmony with my addiction.

This diet I initially selected the same settings of 2 lbs/week and sedentary lifestyle, however, being heavier it upped my calorie goal at about 1,350. (Yay myfitnesspal for accounting for caloric needs and body types!) After starting my new workout plans and going through the motions, I just felt like I was restricting and more hungry than I wished to be. More than just eating less. Especially considering I was eating healthy things that should fill people up.  I could do it, and maintain this diet, but I was feeling icky about what I was doing to my body. So I on a whim felt like I’d try upping my calories. And it turned out great! I am not eating anywhere from 1,400-1630 calories/day. I like the range because I’m trying to just eat to satiety. I don’t force myself to eat more, and most days I feel fin at about 1,500 and don’t even come close to the limit of 1,630. Likely because I am eating a TON of vegetables and fruit.

  1. I ended up losing more weight week than the weeks previous where I was eating more.
  2. I felt way less hungry. In fact, I don’t really feel hungry at all unless its prior a meal.
  3. I feel like this is closer to maintenance calories/diet so my body wont be as shocked once I make the switch. Also, I feel the transition will probably be easier.
  4. I don’t have to restrict myself a ton just to enjoy one even with friends. This is probably my most favorite change. Before, if I knew I had an event with friends I would eat the least I possibly could until the dinner at 7pm. I would feel starting. This way I can eat semi normal before these things and still do okay calorie wise.

Overall, this is an awesome change and probably the best thing I could have done for my body and health journey. Even if my weight loss is slower, this is much healthier mentally and physically and I am beyond happy about it. 

With peace,


Posted in Personal Post, Uncategorized

5 Tips For Staying SANE In College/Graduate School

Hello All,

For those of you who don’t know, I’ve done a lot of school. A whole freaking lot. So much so that my family jokes that I’m a professional student. My collegiate experience can be summed up as follows: I went to undergrad for 5 years completing a major and double minors finishing with honors. I then went directly into my research based masters degree for the next three years, also teaching and working a second full time job. I was uber busy but still managed to graduate with honors. I then took one year off to work as a scientist, and now I’m back in graduate school again for 2 more years.  For those keeping track, that is 10 years of higher education. TEN YEARS!

They say write about what you know. If a anything, the one thing  I know about is school. That being said, something  I did not know when starting school was how to take care of myself. Or how to balance school with everything else. Being an achiever type, I often took on too much extra. So through many years of trial and error, multiple break downs, and unnecessary stress I’ve learned a few things that help me balance school. So here are my tips for keeping sane.

1-Get A Planner. It can be digital, on paper, or on a white board even. Just find whatever works best for you.  I personally have a paper one with monthly and weekly sections. Not only does it free your mind of stress trying to remember all the do dates and coordinating everything, but checking things off the to do list is highly satisfying. I love looking back at how productive I am. I also record my workouts in my planner. That way everything is in one place.

2A-Get Some Exercise. Yes my cerebral friends, it is important to get exercise. If you’re anything like me, you have a love hate relationship with working out. I’d much rather curl up with a good book or Netflix, drink some wine, and eat all the unhealthy things with it. But research and individual resorts suggests that not only is exercise good for your physically and mental health, but its supports your academic goals too. Research has shown that regular cardiovascular exercise and strength training improve memory, thinking skills, and even increases the volume of your brain. You can find one of the thousands of articles here.

2B- Eat A Balanced Diet. As hard as it is to refuse the free pizza, do it. Your body needs the right fuel to function properly. It is worth taking the time to prioritize and do things like meal prep. Apps like myfitnesspal can help you track things like macros, calories, and activity. If anything it can help you just be a bit more mindful about your food choices. I’m not saying don’t go enjoy a beer with the cohort, I’m saying take care of yourself. Prioritize your health. All aspects of it.

3-Find Something To Love COMPLETELY Separate From Your Program. Its very easy to get wrapped up in a graduate program. Its important to remember that there is more to you than research/lab work/ this one interesting topic. Remember to do things that are fun for you. For me it was running and playing/making music. It helped keep me sane when experiments weren’t working, or I couldn’t find that one specific article I read once upon a time to cite. Doing this keeps you balanced, reminds you that this stressful time is not forever, and that your life is more than this singular program.

4-Get (Lots) Sleep. I had to learn this one the hard way. Being ultra busy and always taking on new projects I found myself sacrificing sleep to attain my long list of achievements. It wasn’t until my mentor during my 3rd year of grad school suggested that I reevaluate my priorities (that is the nice way of saying-you look like crap and your second full time job is killing you) that I realized I had a problem. I was living on max 4 hours a night for two years and it took a toll on my mental and physical health. Even though I dropped a second job, I still ended up dealing with chronic fatigue syndrome for about 4 months AFTER graduation. Since entering graduate school a second time, I have chosen to maintain no less than 5.5 hours of sleep, but my average is closer to 7. Even if it means I get a A- instead of an A.

This connects to my next tip well…

5- Say No. Yes, the overachieving people-pleaser just told you to say no to people. I will be the first to admit that this is easier said than done. However, I have learned that it is better to say yes to 1 thing and give it 100% than say yes to 4 things and not be present. When in graduate school your time is limited and sometimes saying no is important for taking care of yourself. You’re not being selfish, its just the way life is right now. Explaining why you can’t always hang out with family and friends helps. Also, intentionally planning hangouts when it IS convenient helps them understand too. What helps with this and maintaining a balance is having a planner. See tip # 1.

*Bonus Tip* Therapy. If you are having a hard time coping or balancing your life during school, go get help. There is 0 shame in doing so. ZERO. Also, most schools offer this to students for free, so take advantage of this resource. It can be the difference between a really negative experience in school vs. having an amazing time and making positive memories.

So thats it for now. Good luck! You got this!






Posted in Weigh-In Wednesday

Weigh-In Wednesday- 1/22/19

Hey All!

Its that same time of the week again. I am happy to report that this week I lost weight! Yay! Especially after last week’s gain I’m really happy that this week worked out. The difference between this week and last week is –2.4 lbs so we are moving in the right direction. Whoop whoop!

EXERCISE: I am still sticking to my workout of cardio 3-4x a week. I managed to get to the gym 4x this week. Added bonus 45 full minutes of treadmill work on Sunday. And lifted 3 days this week and fit in one solid day of stretching for 30 minutes.

DIET: My food has been under my established calorie goal via myfitnesspal. However, this week I think I’ve decided to make my goals a little less aggressive and up my calories. The app gives you the option to select your goal which I had at -2lbs a week which gave me about 1200cals/week with my sedentary lifestyle. That being said I think I’m altering it to 1.5lbs/week which gives me around 1400cals/week. Not only is this probably a more sustainable diet but it supports my health goals. It will better support my goal of maintaining/increasing muscle mass, but I feel it will also help transition into weight maintenance easier. Since maintenance is something I’ve struggled with in the past, I’d like to give myself the best advantage now.

Peak Weight: 250.0 lbs

Starting Weight: 245.5 lbs

Current Weight: 243.6 lbs

Total Weight Loss: 6.4 lbs

With peace,


Posted in Weigh-In Wednesday

Weigh-In Wednesday- 1/16/19


Its that time of week again. I’m a little disappointed to report that I have gone up a pound this last week. I did some reflecting and honestly I’m chalking this one up to either being dehydrated when I first weighed in or my body is just being difficult. I have 0 clue why it went up. I used my fitnesspal and was under calorie goal all week. I also worked out 4 times, which is 4x more than I’ve done in the past. Each time 5 minute warm up followed by 30 minutes of cardio (I’m doing interval running) and lifting after. Focusing on either arms, legs, back, or chest. So even though the numbers make me a bit sad, I just am going to keep doing what I’m doing. I can’t do any better, so here is to an odd week.

What do you all do to stay motivated on weeks like this?

Peak Weight: 250.0 lbs

Starting Weight: 245.5 lbs

Current Weight: 246.2 lbs

Total Weight Loss: 3.8 lbs


Posted in Personal Post

Being A Bridesmaid While Losing Weight & How To Not Lose Your Cool

So I am someone who has been blessed with awesome friends. And when I say awesome I mean crazy insane wonderful people who speak truth into my life. I am beyond lucky to have them. In this phase of my life that translates into being a bridesmaid in weddings. Lots of them. I have legitimately been in over a dozen weddings nearing the 20 mark here soon. I threw in a few pictures of some I had been in more recently. I adore weddings and seeing my friends so happy and in love brings me massive amounts of joy. From helping the bride pick out her dress, to decorating table placements, to schlepping chairs out of the rainy location that you set up the night before, I’ve done it all. I enjoy it all and its done out of love. There is ONE big part of being in weddings that I absolutely hate….

…and I mean absolutely hate is, bridesmaid dress shopping.


Bridesmaid dress shopping is my least favorite part for several reasons. One, there always seems to be one girl in the party that “doesn’t care” but backseat drives when it comes to making the choice with all her different opinions. That or she throws a fit or doesn’t listen. I am of the belief that so long as things are covered length wise and hopefully there is a strap (I am flexible on this but I have a large bust) that you wear whatever makes the bride happy. Two- I am “disproportionate” according to bridal salons everywhere. Usually my bust measures 3-6 dress sizes larger than my waist. Three, having to predict what dress size I will be in 6+ months is a terrible game. Especially considering my weight has not been consistent high OR low for more than 2 months over the last 6 years. No I’m not joking, but the fact that they make you order so far in advance is trash. #DavidsBridalLies Four, I am actively trying to lose weight now so predicting that dress size is even harder. Five, everything and I means EVERYTHING is stupidly over priced. I swear I’m taking my folks to JCPenny one day and we will do it that way. Six, online shopping with no inexpensive exchange policy which adds an additional layer to size guessing SUCKS. Even more so when the bride does it last minute and you have to front a grand to order 3 dresses to TRY ON is infuriating. Only do the online thing if you absolutely love it/its cheaper. PLEASE- your chubby friend is begging you. As you can see, for  me the the overall experience is just exhausting and anxiety inducing.

So you’re losing weight and in a wedding. What dress size do you order?

1-Order the larger size. Let me say it again for those in the back, ORDER THE LARGER SIZE. Girl, no one sees the tag! Quite frankly, you’re the only who cares about that number. However, people WILL see back pudge or rolls sticking out off a too small dress. Do yourself a favor and make yourself comfortable! This brings me to the nest point…

2-Find yourself a bomb– Ass seamstress. Often bridal shops can recommend local people who personally, I like working with better than massive chains anyway. You can always order the bigger size and have it taken in where you need it or a size down. Due to my “disproportionate-ness” I always have mine altered. I just plan it into the budget.

3-Whatever you do, DO NOT ORDER A SIZE TOO SMALL/DOWN. Not only do you run the risk of not fitting into the dress on time, but also you put yourself through metal and emotional challenges that are just are not worth it. You may totally be that size come the wedding and that’s awesome. Good job on reaching those goals! You can risk it but in my experience, I only recommend buying the smaller dress if you are willing and capable of doing the following:

  • Buy a second dress last minute. Usually this means additional rush fees one top of the first non-returnable dress.
  • The store can guarantee it is able to replicate the dress exactly come closer to the wedding. Styles often come and go as do colors.
  • Finally, the store can even accommodate such requests. Often its not possible to do.

4-Remember to have fun! Its super easy to get wrapped up in how you’ll look next to your friends. Comparison is not what that day is about. Doing so will only make you feel bad and a bunch of unnecessary negative feelings. I can pretty much guarantee that your bride and your friends don’t want that for you. If so, get some new friends and leave that bride at the alter! Its about your friend getting married and that they appreciate you so much that you get to be part of their day! Its about love! Your friend loves you AS IS and gives 0 poops about your size. Embrace it. I promise choosing the joy in this situation is well worth it.

With peace,



Posted in About me RIGHT now, Weigh-In Wednesday

Weigh-in Wednesday!- 1/9/18

Hey all,

I know its been forever since I posted but we are back at it. If you care about what I’ve been up to, I’ve written about it in a post here. Similar to past posts, I plan to have “Weigh-in Wednesdays” to help get me back on track with my fitness/dietary goals.

I have struggled with depression and binge eating the last 6 months or so. Mixed with grad school I’ve gained almost all the weight I lost previous back. =( That being said, I am now actively making the choice to not eat junk and work out at least 3x a week. This is easier said than done when you’re in PA school but just like I tell my patients, my health needs to remain a priority. So here goes my attempts at doing just that.

So quick and easy. Here are my current numbers. No matter how embarrassing they might be.

With peace,


Peak Weight: 250.0 lbs

Starting Weight: 245.5 lbs

Current Weight: 245.5 lbs

Total Weight Loss: 4.5 lbs

Image result for scale