Posted in Personal Post

A Year Since The Break Up

Hey All,

I’m hesitant to write this post because its a really personal and vulnerable thing for me, but here goes nothing. This morning I woke up, checked my phone and the date hit me. It has been exactly 1 year since my break up with my ex. Before you freak out, don’t worry I’m not obsessing. I just am good at remembering dates of things. Even if it would be nice to sometimes forget.

Have I dated a handful of people since then? Yeah, sure. Has anything really compared in commitment or intensity of my relationship with M? No. M and I have a weird distant relationship now. We went from best friends to ending it, and that was really hard. I think we both want to be friends, but the longer we go, the more I think we can’t do it. Just too much heartbreak and feelings.

Something that bothers me is hes had 2 “girlfriends” (well a rebound and one) since me and I’ve had 0 official boyfriends. I don’t know why, but it feels like I lost because of that. I’m aware that those thoughts aren’t rational, but its how I feel. If I was completely honest about it, it still hurts when I think about it. I was broken up with because he couldn’t love me and I currently can’t find anyone else. That just feels really icky. I wish I could shake this feeling today, but I’m not sure I can. I guess today healing looks like just being okay with uncomfortable and moving forward.

Hope you all have a better day than me,

-B

Heartbreak

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Author:

I'm your average twenty something female. Just trying to figure out how to live my best life loving those around me. Feel free to ask me anything I'm an open book or comment as you like.

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