I have been holding back for awhile now. Currently, I’m going through a break up with M. I know I mentioned it briefly in a previous post, but honestly its killing me inside. He already has a new girlfriend. They’ve been official for two weeks, and I just found out. I thought I was doing fine and then hearing this news, I feel like I’ve completely reverted. We haven’t even been broken up for 2 months. It took 4 months of dating for us to put an official title on it. A month for him to try and kiss me. So I’m struggling with the thought that maybe he cheated on me. That or I must really not have ever mattered to him at all. All the usual concerns of whats wrong with me and why am I not good enough come back. I don’t know. I’m just aching inside by the fact that I still love him and he is off perfectly happy with a new girlfriend. Totally fine and I’m just the most hurt I’ve ever been.
Irregardless, I’m hurting bad. I’m just not okay. I’m also working on accepting that that is ok in itself to not be ok. A good friend kindly threw those words of my own back at me the other day. Working on giving myself the same grace I feel everyone else deserves. Hope you’re all having a better week than me.